If you're all about the photos, skip this one. Epic culture clash week survived by yours truly; this place is Industrial Psychology Nirvana.
The week started off poorly with the news that a dear high school friend has recently been diagnosed with breast cancer. It always seems like a live a hugely long plane ride away from home but when something like lands in the email inbox, one has to suppress the reactive impulse to board a flight immediately which then prompts an holistic and somewhat existential audit of the reasons one is here and how much longer to ride the wave. Ironically, I had asked my friend to send me the ingredients and measurements for a stovetop chocolate pudding - I could remember the ingredients and preparation but not the measurements....I made a cookbook for her daughters a few years ago and knew a copy of this recipe was in it because her youngest inhales the pudding as if it were chocolate milk (and I've actually served it with a straw to her and her cousin). My friend cheerfully replied within 24 hours with the requested information and then dropped the bomb. I'll always remember that email at every suggestion of chocolate pudding for as many days as I have left.
Back here...there is an organizational culture of "us versus them" that maintains a constant simmer and occasionally reaches a temporary boil. The phrase "time is money" is an affront to this culture but as an ex-patriot, you are expected to deliver results as if you were in the west. As in any professional setting where there is a large share of ex-patriots mixing with indigenous local talent that has been socialized and educated in vastly different ways, the propensity for culture clash is significant. As a westerner, one must remember that my local colleagues are usually from very large families. If there is only one wife, there are usually at least 5-6 siblings with which my colleague has been competing for the father's attention, approval, support and blessings. If the family is affluent and the father can afford to provide for a second wife in the same manner as the first, then my colleague is probably still competing for attention with 5-6 siblings from his/her mother and ultimately trying to seek the same attention, approval, support and blessings from a father that must divide his time equally across his wives. Imagine if my colleague's father has three wives. What this means is that my colleague spends a lot of time throughout childhood and the formative years moving "laterally" to align with siblings, cousins, etc to be viewed favorably by the father and elders of the extended family b/c there is such a small chance of receiving individual attention. That's why this patriarchal society and culture are never about the individual but rather the collective and inherently the honor of the family. Flies totally against a merit-based value system premised on independence instilled in the west. Welcome to the labyrinth where N*O*T*H*I*N*G is navigationally linear. Moving laterally is counter-intuitive to a westerner when time is money.
A lack of communication between myself and a peer resulted in some wounded egos that personally left me wondering what the hell I am doing here, especially now that the daytime temperatures exceed 100-degrees Farenheit and will climb steadily to an oppressive peak of about 125 by mid-July when an odious humidity from the Indian Ocean monsoon season blows this way before relenting slightly in August. Suffice it to say that the other party apologized with a HUGE basket of haute chocolate, which was an enormous relief given that he is a local and I am the hired overseas help. I am optimistic that his generous apology will go a long way in actually aligning our efforts on our complicated and stressful project. I've been told that this gesture is most unusual for a local male so I am pretty sure I was right but that doesn't mean what it means in the west.
Another colleague took a long weekend where they sell prosciutto. Since it's not sold in this country and forbidden by the local religion, of course, I want it. Every time I travel abroad I order bacon and prosciutto because I can, not because I must have it. So my colleague clandestinely brought some back for me and because I was so distracted with the other matters that surfaced last week, I didn't blink when she placed it in our small refrigerator in the office for me to take home. The next day, another office mate who is a steadfast follower of the faith informed me that she had the tea lady remove it from our fridge and place it in the tea kitchen. Apparently, this could get me in deeper _ _ _ _ than I have ever imagined. My offended office mate is currently stuck in Dubai for the 2nd day waiting to board a flight to Baghdad that won't clear. To cheer her, I emailed her that I have had the fridge defrosted and wiped down with bleach to atone for my lack of judgment. This is serious stuff here. I need to constantly remember that if something is haram that means that it is not to be messed with...in any way.
An interview with a Brit exploring a senior role with us and visiting the region for that purpose prompted explicit thought on the stay/go matter. Having arrived in early September 2009, I experienced my first Christmas here by hosting a dinner (see "Pearl of the Desert" entry) that required a purchase of Pernod to make a salmon and fennel main course. I have another recipe calling for Pernod and made it recently, observing that the Pernod is almost half gone and I thought about the possibility of having to replenish it....will I still be here when the Pernod runs out? Is the Pernod an indicator of how much time I have left here? The candidate asked me if I planned to learn Arabic. I replied that of course I would love to but an exhausting job made it a challenge to squeeze it in and one has to calculate the return on that investment...how many years do I plan to work in countries where Arabic is the primary language? It's a commitment. So I dodged the question by talking about the Pernod. Don't know if he was amused or baffled. At least he enjoyed the Yemeni restaurant I chose and the food I ordered for the table.
I follow the news not only with the NYT online but through various podcasts downloaded off the iTunes store. I always listen to The New Yorker's "Political Scene" and this week's podcast is called "Political Sex Scandals." It will not download surely b/c the word "sex" is in the title so I will not hear the latest on Anthony Weiner and his tawdry albeit non-criminal behavior. Hypocrisy? Does the name David Vitter mean anything? The resignations of Newt's campaign manager and half-dozen senior staff inspired a much-needed huge smile.
Happy summer.
Posts
